**Disclaimer: the following text contains more sarcasm than is funny and advocates feminism.**
Day 1: Your current relationship. If single, discuss how the single life is.
This is arguably the worst prompt I've ever been subjected to. "When was the War of 1812?" is a close second. That's alright, I suppose. It was my idea to do a 30 day challenge anyway.
I'm about as single as a kid could get and I love it. Why that matters in the slightest, I don't know, but evidently relationships are important. I don't understand why people care. Perhaps I don't care because I view high school romances as a waste of time. Two people are in love because Facebook says so? I think not. But, wait a minute! That would mean that most high school relationships are based on infatuation and not eternal love! What?? Does this mean that teenagers are still overpowered by their hormones everyday?!
Yes.
In other news, water is wet.
Not only do I not care about dating at all, but I'm disgusted by how many girls see it as a priority. Heaven forbid, these psychos whom I call peers could pause and understand their potential as an individual. The worst of it is that this mentality doesn't exist only in the high school setting, it's everywhere. Women who support themselves and don't feel the need to engage in "husband-hunting" are continually degraded and frowned upon by our barbaric society. I can't stand that some consider it to be an "alternative lifestyle" for women to be single. There's nothing wrong with a woman who not only wears the pants in the family, but also is the homemaker. So many women are running around dependent on a man to do everything for them. Whatever happened to women with ambition? Where are the ladies who were striving to be politicians? Who is going to pave the way for women in a man's world? For 200 years we've been fighting for women's rights and now girls are deciding to be stupid and throw themselves around like drunk prostitutes. That's nice. While you're at it, why don't see if you can bring back slavery? Stupid, stupid, stupid!
To be fair to the dating game however, I'm very bad at it. Surely there isn't another person on this planet who is more oblivious or obtuse to a pressing flirtation than me. Regardless, I'm happy to stay independent. Personally, I think people obsessed with dating in high school are in the midst of an identity crisis and need the attention of everyone on the planet in order to feel important. This sounds like all of the teenage girl crap that I can't relate to. I don't understand girls, I don't understand boys, and I really don't care.
P.S. I have lovely things to say about my relationships with fictional characters (well constructed characters like Hamlet and Marius, not Edward or Jacob). That post is for another day, probably when I get another horrible prompt.
Whit Happens
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Sideways Fires, Paralyzed Hikers, and Water Falling from the Sky
The Fourth of July has never been an event that I exclusively look forward to. The idea of being forced into what feels like a war zone isn't so appealing and the fact that we do it for fun kind of disgusts me. Am I the only one who sees fireworks that way? Think about it: searing rockets splitting the sky, explosions surrounding you, random bursts of light and flame engulfing the air...we imitate a war zone! And we do it for fun! Sick. Really sick.
By the time it was dark enough to do fireworks, I was exhausted. Earlier, my family had hiked at Sundance and we met a young girl with a birth defect who was unable to walk on her own. Her left pant-leg, just below the knee, hung empty and swayed in the wind. I watched her skillfully maneuver her crutches along the trail that was maybe barely a foot wide. My dad talked to her and her dad as we hiked. They were visiting from Tennessee and their Southern accents told stories and random facts about themselves in a way that vaguely reminded me of the get-to-know-you game. I learned that this girl went all through high school on crutches. She never used a wheelchair and never wanted one. She liked hiking, and just because one leg was dysfunctional, didn't mean she wasn't going to do it. Her dad mentioned that she was wanting to hike to the Timpanogos Caves before they left (Can you imagine? I don't like the steep incline on two legs, let alone on crutches!). All in all, they were nice people and I was absolutely blown away at how well she handled the hike. It's amazing to see people who, despite their circumstances, simply refuse the idea that something can't be done. If I were in her situation, I can pretty much guarantee that I would not be hiking. In all honesty, I'd probably take the wheelchair. It was neat to learn about them. That hike was easily one of my favourite hikes, simply because I knew that I had nothing on her and certainly no room to complain. It's a comfort to know that there are still goodhearted people out there who put their full effort into achieving what some would call impossible. Afterall, someone's going to have to compensate for people like me.
No, sharing that story doesn't really give me room to complain about how tired I was, but really, I was done for the day. There's a reason I don't have a birth defect; I'm not the inspirational type.
While my dad was getting ready to start the fireworks, we had a conversation that went something like this:
"Dad, we're the only ones doing fireworks on our whole street."
"Well...oh, look! That family down there is doing some."
"They don't count. The point is, we never get invited to parties."
And I was SO right.
The street adjacent ours had a huge crowd gathered and they were blowing up some really big fireworks. Y'know, the ones that are now apparently legal? Yeah, those ones. While those were blowing up, I got to watch my dad occasionally burn his finger and curse the fuse lines on our Walmart package. Y'know, the fireworks that spit colours from a box? Yeah, those ones. So, we watched our fireworks, overwhelmed with excitement as they were clearly the most compelling fireworks on the block that night, and then...it started raining. I experienced a new perspective of fireworks this year. After the wind knocked them over, I had the unique privilege of watching them catch fire and melt their packaging. We ended up just going inside and watching television.
What can I say? Whit Happens.
P.S. I don't usually mix my sarcastic complaints with serious issues. I really do, sincerely, admire that girl from the hike. I'm not trying to make light of her injury.
By the time it was dark enough to do fireworks, I was exhausted. Earlier, my family had hiked at Sundance and we met a young girl with a birth defect who was unable to walk on her own. Her left pant-leg, just below the knee, hung empty and swayed in the wind. I watched her skillfully maneuver her crutches along the trail that was maybe barely a foot wide. My dad talked to her and her dad as we hiked. They were visiting from Tennessee and their Southern accents told stories and random facts about themselves in a way that vaguely reminded me of the get-to-know-you game. I learned that this girl went all through high school on crutches. She never used a wheelchair and never wanted one. She liked hiking, and just because one leg was dysfunctional, didn't mean she wasn't going to do it. Her dad mentioned that she was wanting to hike to the Timpanogos Caves before they left (Can you imagine? I don't like the steep incline on two legs, let alone on crutches!). All in all, they were nice people and I was absolutely blown away at how well she handled the hike. It's amazing to see people who, despite their circumstances, simply refuse the idea that something can't be done. If I were in her situation, I can pretty much guarantee that I would not be hiking. In all honesty, I'd probably take the wheelchair. It was neat to learn about them. That hike was easily one of my favourite hikes, simply because I knew that I had nothing on her and certainly no room to complain. It's a comfort to know that there are still goodhearted people out there who put their full effort into achieving what some would call impossible. Afterall, someone's going to have to compensate for people like me.
No, sharing that story doesn't really give me room to complain about how tired I was, but really, I was done for the day. There's a reason I don't have a birth defect; I'm not the inspirational type.
While my dad was getting ready to start the fireworks, we had a conversation that went something like this:
"Dad, we're the only ones doing fireworks on our whole street."
"Well...oh, look! That family down there is doing some."
"They don't count. The point is, we never get invited to parties."
And I was SO right.
The street adjacent ours had a huge crowd gathered and they were blowing up some really big fireworks. Y'know, the ones that are now apparently legal? Yeah, those ones. While those were blowing up, I got to watch my dad occasionally burn his finger and curse the fuse lines on our Walmart package. Y'know, the fireworks that spit colours from a box? Yeah, those ones. So, we watched our fireworks, overwhelmed with excitement as they were clearly the most compelling fireworks on the block that night, and then...it started raining. I experienced a new perspective of fireworks this year. After the wind knocked them over, I had the unique privilege of watching them catch fire and melt their packaging. We ended up just going inside and watching television.
What can I say? Whit Happens.
P.S. I don't usually mix my sarcastic complaints with serious issues. I really do, sincerely, admire that girl from the hike. I'm not trying to make light of her injury.
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