I'll Be Back in Time

     You know how you have those days that are just...empty? There's no real joy nor contentment,  neither sadness or anger. It's as though you have failed to live and now merely exist. Lost in your thoughts, though you're not thinking anything. 

     Am I alone on this one? Perhaps it's just me. Anxious and nervous for no reason in particular. 

     The idea frightens me a little bit. That I may have become so apathetic that I cease to live. That I may have become so emotional and concerned that my worries and fears are in control. 

     Regardless, I'm leaving you. In hopes of resolution. Off to the most therapeutic thing in existence, God's own creation: nature. It's high time for a little self-evaluation, don't you think? I'll be back in full swing, loves. 

'Tis a fine time 

To leave everything behind.

Sweater dressed and

To the mountains

I'll be back in time, but

For what or whom, I still don't know.

Super Senior...Yes? No? Maybe?

Remember that whole 30 day challenge? Yeah, me neither.

I'll pick it up again when summer begins. It's not that I haven't had anything to blog about; I've had  a lot to say, I just haven't had the time. I shouldn't say that I don't have the time. I do, I just make excuses to not blog. If it's any consolation, I have a long, long list of potential blog posts saved in my drafts. I'll get around to them eventually. For now, I'm stopping the challenge. There's too much going on for my blog to be my first priority: such as school.

School is insane, but I love it. I used to say that I always felt that I needed to graduate this year. Perhaps I said that because I have a lot of friends who are graduating and moving away this year. I have a slight fear of being left alone. That's a lie, it's a huge fear. I felt that I needed to graduate or I'd lose contact with everyone who's leaving. Admittedly, I think that will happen with most of them. How unfortunate. Regardless, my perspective has changed a little bit. My friend, Emily, and I are seriously considering being Super Seniors: someone who stays an extra year in high school. Essentially, it's repeating the 12th grade. We were talking about it today and we could organize our schedules so that we barely don't have enough credits to graduate and then take both high school classes and college classes during our last year. I don't know, is it a bad idea? I really think it'd be better for both of us, especially considering how we seem to be the ONLY ONES WHO ARE PLANNING ON PAYING FOR COLLEGE! What the heck? We've talked to so many kids whose parents have their college paid for. Yeah, that's a great way to prepare your kid for the real world. Anyway, I'm just looking for feedback. I view it as a way to give yourself just an extra year to save for college and prepare. Others view it as a fear of moving on, which I'm not, I just think it'd be fun. Am I just going through a phase? I don't know. What do you think? I have a lot of time to think it over. I guess we'll see.

Sorry this post is so poorly written. I'm just vomiting my train of thought onto a keyboard and making it somewhat legible. I'll do better next time.

Pinky promise.

Of Late, I...

1. have been paying attention.
2. depend on my fingers.
3. love notebooks
4. hate computers
5. purchased an instant camera
6. kicked a chair when I discovered the camera's battery is dead.
7. cried a little, over nothing in particular.
8. laughed a bit, over everything that doesn't work.
9. turned left at a sign that read, "Right Turn Only".
10. flew an imaginary plane 'cross a library hall.
11. pretended not to care about things that really made me want to fold up like a clam.
12. shushed my dog when he barked.
13. bruised my hip on a doorknob that wasn't there two seconds prior.
14. made a decision.
15. had a horrible nightmare.
16. wrote a poem.
17. played at Velour.
18. have been oddly generous.
19. talked to myself.
20. wished I wasn't so quiet sometimes.
21. held my breath.
22. listened a little better.
23. want an accordian.
24. needed more silence than usual.
25. made excuses.
26. wrapped my pinky in scotch tape.
27. purposely poured water on the floor.
28. spent money I don't have.
29. forgave the undeserving.
30. regret saying that.